Having a few issues with food and binging. Who am I kidding, I’ve always had issues but lately it’s feeling like it’s getting out of control. I’ve been more obsessive about it and I’ve started to think about purging (which mockingly makes me feel sick)
I have not felt this fat and gross and ashamed since I’ve moved out of home. I think being surrounded by a whole office of skinny, gorgeous people makes it worse. Having my SO comment that I sound jealous when I said how hard it is to hear a rake think friend moan about losing weight is makes it worse. The unstoppable desire to eat fatty, salty, crunchy food is horrible.
My entire office is on specific fad diets and I fucking can’t stand it. They have no idea how self-concious and embarassed I feel around them.
I just want to be able to eat what my body needs without any of these fucked up urges and shame and guilt.